Random Crazy Thoughts of Love.

The love I have to give isn’t the kind of love you see in a movie.

It’s not always hugs and kisses or flowers and chocolates.

The love I have to give is unique in so many aspects.

It is written in between the words I Love you.

 

The kind of love I have is simple but deep.

In order for someone to understand it,

They have to close their eyes and let their heart see it.

Our eyes can fool us but not our hearts.

 

I love seeing a clear blue sky in the morning.

The calmness of clouds and the broad stretch of horizon let my heart at ease.

Then rain makes me sad.

Raindrops make me feel as if the sky is crying.

Who wouldn’t love the stars and moon?

The stars and moon will still shine so bright no matter how dark the night is.

I love the month of April and May because I know I will once again see my eternal love.

Fire Trees!Yes, Fire trees the kind of tree that only blooms during those months. The red flowers of this tree are like flames, the kind of flame that I would dare to touch.

Old books make me nostalgic.

I love reading those kinds of book because it let my mind travel back in time.

 

You see, everything I love can be seen by naked eyes but I didn’t love those because I can see it.

I feel in love with those because after appreciating the beauty they possess,

I close my eyes and cherish them in my heart.

I used my heart to love them even more.

And this is the kind of love I have to give.

I will use my heart to understand and love even more.

This kind of love can travel through distance.

I don’t need eyes to see or hands to touch.

My heart can prove if this Love is true or not.

People will say that it is a foolish act to use your heart without using your mind

but for me I’d rather live a life with lesson from my mistakes than a life without mistakes because I didn’t follow my heart.

I don’t care if people will never understand why I fell in love in the first place.

Even if they think that it’s all the same for me it will always be uniquely different.

 

Ang simula ng wakas.


Paano nga ba natapos kung wala naman simula?Bakit naubos ang bawat salita?Saan ko nga ba sisimulan ang kwentong tinapos na?

Alam ko kung saan ako lulugar sa buhay mo. Abot tanaw, abot kamay pero hindi pwedeng manatili sa tabi mo. Hindi pwedeng sabihin ang mga katagang “Mahal kita” dahil kung sa iba ito ang simula, sa kwento natin ito ang magwawakas.

Tikom ang bibig, pigilan ang puso. Mga paalalang ulit ulit na tumatakbo sa isip ko tuwing ikaw ang kasama ko.

Gusto kong simulan ang umaga na ikaw ang kasama pero bago matapos ang gabi ramdam ko na walang pag-asa. 

Ito na nga ata ang wakas ng sinimulan ko. Sasambitin ang mga katagang tatapos sa kwento ng ikaw at ako. Mahal kita, yan ang totoo.

There would be days like this where you can feel the pain within your veins. As if someone is pricking your whole body with tiny needles. You told him it doesn’t hurt at all because that’s the truth but a day like this would come. You’ll never see it coming. After it ended you go on with your life. Walking straight ahead without looking back. You side glanced at your shoulder but you just shrugged it off and keep on walking. One warm sunny day like today will come where you’ll feel like your whole world is falling apart. Your strong heart will wave the white flag and for one day you’ll admit to yourself that you’re defeated. Yes, the longing and emptiness that you hide to yourself and to the whole world finally overpowers you.

Valentine’s Day Realization.

Today Valentine’s Day, I realized one major thing in life, learn to value yourself and be brave enough to walk away. I know I’ve seen a lot of this advice in the internet. I heard people saying those lines over and over again. I even gave the same words to people who asked for an advice but the thing is I haven’t tried applying it to myself. It’s like recommending a good restaurant in town; you’re putting good words about the food and ambiance when in fact you’ve never been there.
Back to my realization, I guess today is the day that it really hits me. It’s like cupid’s arrow were shooting those hearts that popped up in my crazy head. Pop. Pop. Pop then voila everything became crystal clear. There’s an open door waiting for my grand exit. Another chapter is waiting for me to start. I’ve been delaying that chapter because I kept on re-reading one of my favorite chapters and that WAS him.
For a few months I never tried to reach the exit. Maybe I was just afraid of endings that even if there are a lot of exit points I still chose to stay. I plaster pieces of my heart in each exit points hoping both of us would stay but little did I know he brought grenades with him. He planted one in each exit point and one by one he pulled the trigger. Boom boom boom until there’s only one left. I became deaf for a few moments not hearing everyone who told me to runaway. I became blind that I didn’t see those people in the exit point waving their hands asking me to go there. Then I saw him, standing in the last exit, his hand on the trigger, no emotion was written on his face all I know is that anytime soon he will pull the trigger. If I allow him to pull it my whole world will fall apart right in front of me, I didn’t allow him. Instead, I grab the grenade in his hand, I looked straight in his eyes and bid my last goodbye then I pulled the trigger and run to the exit as fast as I could. No turning back. No regrets.

It was my choice to stay, he didn’t need to begged me to do it and it was also my choice to leave, even if he begged me to stay I would still choose to leave. What I realized this Valentine’s day is important because finally I see my worth. I see and I feel my value as a person. That in order for people to value you, you have to value yourself first. If you didn’t give importance to your own feelings no one will do that for you. You have the option to leave if you feel like you don’t belong in that story you just need to find the courage to do it. Do it for yourself. Your feelings, your value and your heart matters. Now I can finally give this advice to everyone learn to value yourself and be brave enough to walk away.

Ang huling Ikaw at Ako.

Ang huling Ikaw at Ako.

Paano nga ba mag paalam?
Sapat na ba ang mga salitang “Aalis na ako”?
Pwede bang idaan ko na lang sa tula?
Bubuka pa lang kasi ang bibig ko bumubuhol na ang dila ko.

Mahal kita, yan ang nararamdaman ko.
Mahal mo ako, yan ang akala ng puso ko.
Nasa atin na lahat ng oras at pagkakataon.
Pero hindi pala sapat yun para manatalili tayo.

Lagi kitang nakikita at nakakausap.
Magkasundo ang bawat kulot na bahagi ng utak natin.
Kaya mo kong patawanin sa mga oras na pakiramdam ko binagsak sakin ang buong mundo.
Kaya mong patahimikin ang maingay na utak ko gamit lang ang mga mata mo.

Ikaw ang laman ng bawat tula ko.
Ikaw ang bida sa kuwento ng Ikaw at Ako.
Ikaw ang parte ng istorya ko na gusto kong ipagsigawan sa buong mundo.
Dahil ikaw ang Mahal ko.

Pero hindi ito sapat
Hindi ako sapat para sayo.
Laging may kulang, laging may mali.
Hindi na ako tumama sa puso mo.

Durog na ang mga pangarap ko.
Marupok na ang puso kong nagmamahal sayo.
Sa ating dalawa ako lang ang nagmamahal.
Alam ko na na hindi ako ang mahal mo.

Ito na nga ata ang araw na yun.
Ang araw na tatalikod ako at lalakad palayo sayo.
Dahil pagod na akong harapin ka
Dahil pagod na akong harapin ang katotohanan na kahit magkaharap tayo, hindi mo ako makikita.

Tula para kay Pag-ibig

Sa bawat araw na dumaan na wala ka

Ako’y nangungulila sa’yong pagsinta

Hinihintay ang araw na magbabalik ka

Makakasama kang muli o aking sinta

 

Sa bawat minutong hindi ka kasama

Ang iyong ngiti ay aking naaalala

Ang pagmamahal mong tunay at dakila

Sa puso ko’y kailanman hindi mawawala

 

O pag-ibig kong ibinigay ni bathala

Ako’y nananabik na muli kang makasama

Sa iyong pagbabalik sa aking piling

Buhay kong inalay, sa’yo lang ibabaling

 

Sa muli nating pagkikita aking mahal

Maiibsan ang paghihintay kong kay tagal

Mga sandaling wala ka, oras ay kay bagal

Masaya ‘kong dininig n’ya ang aking dasal

 

Ang pagmamahalan nating parang tubig

Walang hangganang pag agos ng pag-ibig

Ang puso kong sa’yo lamang pumipintig

Mananatili ito sa iyong bisig

 

Hindi na ako makapag hintay, irog ko

Sabik na sabik na ang puso kong ito

Makasama ka hanggang magunaw ang mundo

Ikaw lamang hanggang matapos ang buhay ko.

Matalas.

Ang salitang binitiwan mo na kailan ma’y di mo na mababawi pa.

 

Ilang beses na ba kitang pinatay sa talim ng dila ko?

Ilang marka na ba ng mga salitang binitiwan ko ang tumatak sa puso mo?

Mga biro ko na unti-unti pa lang nagtataboy palayo sa’yo.

 

Nasasaktan na pala kita sa paraang hindi ko alam

Nadudurog ko na pala ang puso mong nagmamahal

Kung alam mo lang ang tunay kong nadarama…

 

Minamahal kita, hindi ko lang maipakita.